Why you need to be The Doctor, to get a Postdoc

Most of the UK readers will have watched last nights final season episode of Dr Who. If not here are the principles: The Doctor, was supposed to die in last night’s episode, a fixed point in time, something not even a time-lord can change. However, his wife saved him and because of it time split and two different time streams happened simultaneously.

Now reading the most recent job advertisement for a postdoc: to be able to apply I need to be a time-lord. Essential A1 near completion of the PhD—so you do not even have to have passed your viva yet. Essential E1:

Minimum of 5 years research experience with normally 1-2 years relevant post-doctoral experience.

… and this is why you need to be a time-lord to have a chance getting academic posts. So you have to not have your PhD but also have to have postdoc experience!

Further, they want you to have postdoc experience to apply for a POSTDOC! This is a bit schizophrenic but Higher Education Institutions can allow themselves to exploit early career researchers and academics because there are no jobs out and people jump from one postdoc to the next, never being able to get an actual position.

Ah the joys of job hunting. Even three years ago I would not even have doubted to get this position—now—FAT CHANCE! But it is part-time and I am fitting all the specs so I apply—well, ALMOST all the specs. I do not have the postdoc experiences, but I did all this research fellow, and research work NEXT to my PhD studies so I basically have postdoc experiences only that in my case they took place at the same time: let’s call it a par-doc.

See, this is a hard sell, if I were a timelord, I could make them happen after my PhD and all would be fine. So the job advertisements are, not only schizophrenic, but they also are impossibly Discriminatory. Only because I did so many things at the same time, I am disqualified in the application. GO FIGURE!

So I would highly appreciate anyone popping by with a Tardis!

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